Sequoia × stanfordiana (S. sempervirens × H. sapiens) The Tree

A special redwood hybridized in 1975 by the Incomparable Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band. Foliage varies from year to year: usually green, sometimes sparse and other times dense, always juvenile. Height is also known to fluctuate. A rare ambulatory variety, this tree has trouble putting down roots. It is generally found only at Stanford, although intermittent sightings in remote locations have been reported. Seems to thrive in the presence of discordant music. Fruit resembling a hat, tie, and glasses tends to appear during football season. Trunk is limber, swaying in the wind or to the beat, and features two prominent holes thought to be useful in ambulation. Even though there is only one known specimen, to date The Tree has not been placed on the endangered species list. Survived attack by vicious bears in 1996.